The Most Powerful Tool

When my daughter was born, I was prepared – I took several of the classes my birth center offered, including a breastfeeding basics class. I felt prepared for labor, I felt prepared for caring for a newborn, I felt prepared to breastfeed. I felt supported by my midwives, nurses, family, and friends. But one thing I did not feel was confident.

I read over the information packet from the breastfeeding class over and over. I read about cluster feeding, foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. I googled green poop, foamy poop, mucusy poop, and eventually bloody poop (that’s also when I called the pediatrician).

Even with (or probably in spite of) all the information available through classes, doctors, midwives, nurses, lactation consultants, friends, mothers, grandmothers, and mothers-in-law, and of course Google, we as moms (especially new moms) are constantly second guessing ourselves.

I kept notes of when my daughter ate, on which side, and how long. When she pooped, when she napped, and even when and what I ate. I was always looking at the clock wondering if I should just let her sleep or wake her because doesn’t she need to nurse?

I remember spending hours reading online baby forums about other babies’ schedules, when and how much they ate, pooped, and slept. Always questioning myself. Wasting way too much valuable energy and brain power!

When my second came along, I decided to let it all go. I followed my baby’s lead and I did what felt right for us both. Oh what a difference! Even though life was much more stressful now with a 20 month old and a newborn, I was not wasting that brain space on timing and clocks and waking my baby in the middle of a nap because the clock told me he should nurse again.

My postpartum period with Bradley was certainly not a piece of cake, but I at least felt more confident in my newborn-mom skills, that saved my sanity (even though at the time it very much felt like I was losing it most days!).

The key here is not doing what I did; not following a clock every second of the day worked for me and my baby. We had structure (because man oh man I needed them both to nap at the same time in the afternoon), but I didn’t stress about how many minutes he nursed or slept. Maybe it works better for you to watch the clock and take notes on everything. That’s cool too.

The key here is finding what works for you – listening to the most powerful tool you have for yourself and your baby: your intuition.

Here are a few ways you can start cultivating your intuition:

• Check in with yourself at least once a day (check out the CALM mom workbook)
• Educate yourself, read books read articles from reputable resources, and ask questions of your healthcare provider. You’ll certainly come across quite a bit of conflicting information, but soon enough you will start to see what feels right to you.
• Journal
• Meditate
• Do gentle, full-body exercise like walking, yoga, pilates, or just do stretching that feels right for your body
• Work 1-1 with a health coach to dig deep into your struggles and provide individual feedback and coaching.